• Detective Chris Brooks

Private Investigator Denver Cheating

10 Things Your Cheating Spouse Doesn't Want You To Know

"Are they cheating on me?"

Finding out that your husband or wife has been cheating isn't just a time of profound heartbreak and shock, it's also a time of intense distress and confusion. There are so many unanswered questions and so many overwhelming emotions.

Detective Chris has been following cheating spouses for 20 years and found, not all unfaithful partners will react with honesty, humility or empathy when their betrayal is discovered.

Finding out that your husband or wife has been unfaithful isn't just a time of profound heartbreak and shock, it's also a time of intense confusion. There are so many unanswered questions and so many overwhelming emotions.

Most unfaithful partners are deeply committed to saving their marriage. They are honest, forthcoming with information after the [cheating spouse investigation] and willing to do whatever it takes, for as long as it takes, to help heal the heart they have broken. They'll answer questions put to them. They'll acknowledge what they've done and how it's hurt their partner. They'll show true remorse. They'll have patience with their emotional spouse. They'll end the affair and cut all contact with the other person, and they'll be transparent with their phone, whereabouts and so on to help regain their partner's love and trust.

Unfortunately, not all unfaithful partners will react with honesty, humility or empathy when their betrayal is discovered. Not all will work collaboratively with their spouse to rebuild the marriage. These folks aren't focused on the marriage -- they're focused on themselves and how they can get through this with the least amount of drama and personal inconvenience. Regardless of our private investigation cheating spouse photographic, and video evidence, they continue to be self serving.

Remember: those who have nothing to hide hide nothing.

Top 10 things an insincere cheating spouse would prefer you didn't know:

1. They are fully aware their cheating actions were a betrayal. Their attempts to deny, deflect or downplay their actions, or to draw you into a debate (i.e. "I just sent him a naked picture, I didn't sleep with him!" or "Texting isn't cheating!"), are simply their way to muddy the waters so you cannot see the situation clearly.

2. There's more to the story than they've told you. Statements like, "It was only one time," or "We never met in person" or "We always used a condom," are often misleading. It is very common for extra information and revelations to trickle in after the affair or indiscretion is first discovered. We have had subjects even go to the extent where they are caught red handed by our private detectives cheating with proof of video and photographic evidence, while denying it was them! [the spouse did not believer the cheat and believed the private investigative video evidence of the cheating in Denver Colorado!]

3. They enjoyed having all the power. Infidelity is in many ways a power imbalance in the marriage. The person who is being unfaithful has the power. They know the secret. They can choose whether to end it, continue it or reveal it. And like any kind of power, it can be intoxicating -- and a lot of fun.

4. Their phone is proof of guilt. When they accuse you of being "paranoid" or "controlling" when you ask to look at their phone, it is because they are hiding something and want you to stop asking. They know that nobody wants to be "that wife" or "that husband" who is meant to feel insecure or controlling, so they use that to their advantage. Remember: those who have nothing to hide hide nothing. Our private investigation agency on a regular basis have relationships when the boyfriend shuts their phone off at night and does not answer any calls at night. This is always a red flag, as in these days in the age - we all carry our phones everywhere from sunrise to sunset.

5. They're doing their best to push blame onto you. Their attempts to transfer blame onto you (i.e. "I wouldn't have had to have sex with her if you'd be more available!" or "I wouldn't have had to turn to him if you'd just talk to me once in a while") are deflections meant to take the spotlight off their actions cheating. Yes, pre-existing marriage problems may have factored into the infidelity; however, there were other options available to your partner. He or she did not have to secretively become emotionally or sexually intimate with this other person. Only they are to blame for that choice.

6. They want you to stop bringing it up or talking about it. Their impatience with your questions or pain, or their statements like, "Get over it already!" or "I already said I was sorry, what else do you want from me?!" usually mean that they are unwilling to invest the time, energy and emotion into regaining your trust and affection.

7. They made a choice to do it. There's no such thing as "It just happened." Similarly, a spouse who says, "It's impossible to be with just one person!" isn't addressing their betrayal, they are trying to justify it. The truth is, many couples have enjoyed long-term, devoted, loving marriages. It may not always be easy, but it comes down to personal choice and how you want to live your life.

These cheating actions often mark the difference between a spouse who wants to save their marriage and a spouse who just wants to save themselves.

8. They are not trustworthy. No matter how many times they say, "You have to trust me," you do not and should not. A spouse who has engaged in any kind of secretive behaviour and their is proof either you discovered it or a local private investigator caught him or her cheating on a surveillance-- whether it's sexual or financial -- is not trustworthy. They can regain your trust; however, this is done through actions, not words.

9. It may not be the last (or first) time. While it isn't necessarily true that "once a cheater, always a cheater," it is often true that infidelity can become a pattern in marriage on the part of one or both spouses.

10. They know exactly why they did it. A spouse who answers the question, "Why did you do it?" by saying, "I don't know," isn't telling the truth. The truth may be "deep" (i.e. "I thought I was in love with him/her") or it may be "shallow" (i.e. "It was fun and I didn't think I'd get caught") but either way, they know exactly why they did it.

Our infidelity division consists of cheating investigation experts who know the exact steps to take in order to uncover the truth for our clients.  Ultimately, we are here to find the evidence you need and deserve to know about your relationship.

Contact Top Rated Private Investigator

Solved It Investigations Detective Chris Brooks can get you proof to confirm your worst suspicions or prevent you from making a bad decision. Investigating a cheating spouse or partner is a delicate matter for us and requires extreme discretion. We will work closely with you and your attorney to determine the proof that you need.

Call us at 515-257-7300 or contact us online today for free confidential case evaluation.

Article Credit: Debra Macleod (Huffington Post Blog)

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